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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

; 9:10 PM

Today supposed to go out with my hilton colleages to greg's house and after several thoughts i decided to give it a miss because of the age gap and what can they actually do at his house beside sing song tok cock and play majong, so i went to meet elaine boon jeow and wee keat as they are goin to look for job at goodwork park. Then after they directed us to HR department again... how boring to fill in forms again and being told that they will called u when they need people so after that we went to marriot to have a try and during our about form-filling session again, an engineering guy approached us and gave us a name card saying that this chinese restaurant need stuff so we called the person and were rather satisfied by the things given. Before we head on to that restaurant at boat quay, we had to pretend to look for job in bqt. What the fuck is that they made us waited for almost an hour and when we finally get to see the manger, he gave us a fucking look. Kept on staring at our faces and didn't even say anything at all and expect us to say something. We just kept quiet la, fucking indian manager. We said we worked in other hotel which paid us 6 per hour then he said then yr must be disappointed that our hotel pay 5.50 per hour. LIKE DUH!!! waste our time and the pay is freaking low and yr attitude sucks. On our way out, i purposely say loudly to elaine "SEE LA WASTE TIME ONLY".

Enough of that as we headed on to the chinese restaurant. The restaurant was no ordinary chinese wan as we always saw. The setting of the restaurant cutlary haf used a stone used as a chopstick holder and the have red wine glass. The ambience was really great. They told us that they have wedding functions and they needed experience staff like me and they are paying 7 dollars per hour and after hour straight away get money. Although they have onli 6-11 slot but it's was good. The have a seafood branch below it whihc is beside the singapore river which had ala-carte meals. Guess it's pretty popular because the entire stretch of tables which is nearest to the river is all reserved. The person who talk to us were really nice and she offered us coke although we declined to take it. she even said that if we work more than 3 times a week, we get the tips that they received which is different from hotel because only full-timers got it but here part-timers have it too and she say the tips received here is higher then hotels. Because they were ex-waiteress so they know the system of hotels and they retired and set-up a well-established restaurant. Gonna work this thurs and sat.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

; 9:30 PM

Phew, wad a day had passed. A gentle pat on my back for bring able to survive the torturous training camp. Right now, i'm having a sun burnt because we went to kallang for sea-rowing for consecutive 2 days under the tormenting sun. AN abrasion at my knee-cap in pool-rowing and body aching for pumpings and running. I'm a beat bush now... luckily i off today so i could catch some deep sleeping because the night i couldn't really sleep as 15 of us share this very confined room, i mean VERY!!! it's very difficult to move about... All the training will come into good course as wad u sow is wad u seap, something like that ( lousy eng) because they really train on our mental fitness. ALL bout endurance and stuff. DB is not just rowing and rowing, there is alot of things to learn in it. When it comes to competition and we got first, all the hard work paid off and is well achieved. No regret. Who do you want to be??? NGEE ANN ROWER!!!!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

; 11:40 PM

Today suppose to go for DB training but i decided to give it a miss because kenneth called me in the morning saying they we should go and buy elaine's present and today was the day that i was off and because saturday and sunday will be the training camp and it's a long time since i go out and shop or hang out with my friends. We brought a NewUrbanMale slippers cum scandal which cost i had forgetten. Because that shop is for gays so we felt a bit of unease, this shop had a large variety of clothes and slippers but they are damn freaking expensive. Maybe gays are rich??? Perhaps. After which we went to play x-box at x-square to kill some time. A place to kill time and spend money the least is x-square. Finally we got to watch movie and it's the myth this time round. What i can say for this show is, "MARVELLOUS AND ENJOYABLE", i rated this movie 4 out of 5 stars. What is good about this movie is the casting and the stars actor, got jap, korean, hongkies, indians. What is unique about this show is it's mutli-linguial. They spoke japanese, chinese, cantonese, english and tamil. A total of 5, cool. Jackie chan even spoke a few words of tamil but it was freaking weird and hilarious. The indian lady was quite beautiful and hot. Her face and body features were terrific. And the korean star was beautiful with her traditional chinese clothes. i enjoyed the show. Soon enough, we went to long john sliver for dinner and we went home till they were indirectly chasing us off. On our journey back home, Kenneth's friend talk to me and ask "So , which Jc are you in?" , i was thinking jc??? do i have the looks??? please man, so i replied by saying poly because i failed my english. And he said" Really? but u look like those who's english can score A1 one" Hello, u can't judge a person by his or her looks just like saying looks can be deceiving. I'm laughing my head's off man. Although how much i want to go to jc but the fact had been established and what can i do with it. Just accept the fate la, we are the slaves of fate and maid of destiny, how can we change it. It's been decided that i can't go jc then so be it. Everyday, i saw people wearing Jc uniforms, i envy them because they are clever and telling myself y can't i be them. Sometimes i do look down on people who are useless and stupid and i envy those who were clever and sporty. In the past, i would just want to be alone or i can say i enjoy being alone but now i'm different, i would now look at other people and their way of life and how they handle it and that can make me learn a new lesson and make me a better man as a coded" Wise men learn from fools' mistakes". Sometimes i despice myself for being not clever enough. Everytime go to school, i saw people from NJC, HWI, NYGH, ACS, ACJC, SAJC and all those tops school people and now i find people from neigbourhood school is useless and aimless in life. Always play a fool with their education and in the end regret at the last minute and who is to blame?? like me, zzz play a fool... i will be changed for a better person as now my favourite quote is "Always think far and wide and look on the bright side"

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

; 8:54 PM

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hardI've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of youI never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of youI am afraidI lose my wayAnd it's not too long before you point it outI cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyesI'm forced to fakeA smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of youI never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of youI am afraidI watched you dieI heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone elseYou just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of youI never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of youI try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of youI don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of youI'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of youI am afraid
Because of you
Because of you

"Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

; 10:16 PM

Today not usual except for today's work i met this pretty japanese. WOW!! damn pretty, when she smile at moi, it just brighten my boring day. I kept smiling back.... Hope the rest of the days my work will be as entertaining as today. After which, i rush off to NP to meet daniel and norman but in the end norman was damn late so daniel and i ran to rifle range which is 17km. IT IS DAMN FUCKING FAR!!!! it's some deserted road that which is just behind macrichite reservoir. We could be see monkey around the forest. Although it's tiring, it's enjoyable. I just got to know that this satuday training is the selection for SIVA race which means that i could not turn i got work... Thou i'm quite disappoined but it's ok cos i dun tik i'm at my best now.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

; 10:32 PM

Today mark's the end of my semster 1 examination which also means it's time for me to enjoy!!! Hooray!!! no more eltech!!! I hope that my result will be good as in A's not just pass. Went to went a movie with alvin ken and elaine. The show was shark tale and lava gal. That show is pathetic because it is totally for kids. Firstly, the show is utimately lame, secondly, the 3-d effect didn't really show, thirdly, the 3-d glasses they gave us make my eyes hurt. After that we went to x-square at ps to play x-box. That monkey game was fun, although we played that for several times, i still like the game. Went to my uncle hse after that. Tml gonna work liao...

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

; 9:56 PM

Went to national library to study but in the end we got chased off because they banned people from studying the national library. National library is very big, with 15 storeys and 3 basement levels. It's big until the entire library dun seems to look like a library. i find it completely useless to build such a big library when the actual general lending area is about at B1. ONLY B1!!! how ridiculous with such a big building. In the end we went to mac and study and after a few hours, we went to bugis and brought elaine's mum present. We met lay xuan there. Nothing much happened. A sudden feeling just got back to me and it's a feeling that is very warmly and nice. This week it's a holiday for every students. I wanted to ask her out but there is something too put me from doin it. I hd been thinking for a few days and decided maybe we just cannot be together. maybe just thinking for her is good enough already. No string attached could probably be a good solution. Pass incidents let me think that this time i asked her out, i will received the same ans and that ans makes my heart shattered and i don't wish to do that again. Maybe i'm just too stubborn.

Another though that came to my mind. In life, everything is changing, everyday, every min, every sec, something is happening, a diaster, a new-born baby- a newly-married couple, a just declared dead person, an injury, people moving houses. Everyone is changing and are we about to adapt all the changes in life like moving a new house, entering a new school, meeting new friends, having yr beloved ones pass away. Some are happy changes while some are devastating that one can't even continue with life. So i was thinking, people tend to change in character as well, you may not be what u were in the past. WE change because our environement change and i was wondering whether am i changing also because i feel i am not the old me. Since i know i had changed to a new me, i tend to cover my new me and be my old me. Mayb as times goes by people get adapted to my new me and forgot about my old me. CHANGES CHANGES CHANGES CHANGES. zzzz i want to be alone ..... maybe that psychology book cause all this to happen on me because i kept thinking about life........

Saturday, September 03, 2005

; 12:06 PM

Took C programming test on friday and i got a quite a screw-up. Pretty disappointed with it. B4 that, we had 4 hours of break so we decided to go KAP and eat mac and i accidentally left my c programming mini-project report there. Fortunately, shaoyong's friend was there so he help me search and managed to find it. He told us he will be coming back to school at nite but in the end he went clementi to sing karoke!! WTF!!!! i need to hand that report in or else i will get killed. SO i quickly made a decision by telling his friend to take a cab here and i will pay the cab fare....SIANZZ waste my money!!... then i had to keep on begging my lecturer to let mi hand in on mon although it's a study break. After that i went to do some gym whie waiting for the briefing of the overnight camp for the yellow ribbon project but indirectly it was a get to know section for everyone in dragonboat. It was really an enjoyable overnight stay. We are really bonded well. Captain and Vp played with us and chatted with us like we are normal friends. We had lots of laughter and also when we watch white chicks at the movie marathon to raise fund for the breast cancer foundation. Though i watch it once but i still laugh till tears kept on gusting down. haha. had supper at roti-prata shop . Daniel and i brought e thirty three back and drink. lol daniel feel like sleeping when he finished bout half a bottle while i'm still awake although my face is once again red.. Lights off at 4am and we had to wake at 6am which is quite an impossible thing to do and in the end was they did was to on all the lights and force us to wake up. Then we rush off to changi and did our yellow ribbon walk with a sunny sun and a heavy bag. Met audrey there as the entire J1 of NYJC was goin and our is many club in NP goin. Jeannie on the other hand was nott there because she could not wake up.... haha... think that's about it.. gonna sleeep

Thursday, September 01, 2005

; 9:50 PM

Today i at went to school at 1pm to play tennis with jeannie. I thou i will b late because i went to buy newpaper before i board bus 74 but in the end i reach ngee ann exactly 1pm and jeannie was lateeeeee. So i did some wake up and practice serving. During my practice i managed to find another 6 balls. WOW!! 6... that's alot. We had an enjoyable game and out of a sudden, dark clouds flew by and it began to rain!!! when we decided to seek shelter, the rain stopped!!! WTH...so we carried on. After that came sandy yi ting and dini, so jeannie and i went to had lunch at canteen 2. Today marks the end of our sports and wellness tennis, i certainly miss those times. Had memories and laughter, We took a class photo.. After having 4 hours of tennis, gladis and i rushed off to snackbar to have our DB punishment that we owe last week. DId about 300+ times. Few of us decided to go for the yellow ribbon walk tml nite, so we had the indeminty form of both this and the DB camp. After which, norman, daniel and i went for a campus run and do pull-ups. It's running late cos superstar is going to start go we rush off asap. I was reading this meaninngful book about psychology related to karmic effect, cause and effect, past lives and stuff and i came across this meaningful phrase which read's "we spend our life until we're thirty deciding what parts of ourselves to stuff into the invisble bag we drag behind us, and we spend the rest of our lives trying to get them out again." The trouble is we all want to be perfect, kind, compassionate and loving people, but unfortunately this is not the case. Denial of existance of our shadows will result in persistent reminders in the form of repeating patterns of behaviour or continually finding people in our lives who press the same old button. Sometimes the pressure in the shadow builds up to the point where we fall apart. This is the break-up to break through, which we called a 'breakdown'.It appears in these moments as if our world has totally collasped and our connections to everyone and everything seem to be severed. It is often the job of a soulmate to precipitate this moment of truth in your life. Ponder and reflect